What if You Don’t Know What You Want?

Written by Kathy Jacobson

Jan 17, 2023


Of course, sometimes you do know. if you’re hurting, you know you want less pain. And if you’re broke, you know you want more money. But those are just conditions of being human, right? And you’ve coped with them so long you know how to deal with them. Beyond that, if you’re comfortable and your family’s doing all right, what more is there to want?

Maybe nothing. You might consider having nothing to complain about is an ideal worth living for.

But if the title of this article caught your eye, perhaps you sense there should be more – if you only knew what it was.

As an experiment, try this.



1. Identify six to eight areas of your life that you consider priorities. For example: Family, Work, Health, Money, Learning, Travel, Service, Adventure, etc.

2. Select these priorities one-by-one and write out two or three ways you’d like each one to be better.

3. Then consider each of the improvements you’ve identified, and ask yourself these questions:

a. How much value would that improvement bring to my life?
b. Would that improvement be of value to anyone else?
c. Would I need to enlist others to make it happen?
d. Would making that improvement be worth the effort?

If you discover you desire an improvement to one of your priorities, you have identified something you want. And you know why you want it.

So now what?

Here are a few important steps for turning a desire into an Intention (something you intend to make real).

1. Visualize your chosen improvement as a “done deal.” Don’t limit yourself to just how it looks. employ all your senses. Does it have a scent? A sound? A smell? A taste? A texture? What does it feel like, both physically and emotionally?

2. Write it out. Give it the tangibility of ink on paper. Be specific and detailed and true to yourself. Add all the reasons you want whatever it is. Imagine how your life will be different once you achieve the success you want.

2. Construct an affirmation statement or a manta that describes the outcome you want, and repeat that statement often, often, often. (For instance, “I follow through on my assigned projects at work and my coworkers appreciate my diligence.)

3. Identify any changes you will have to make in your behavior or your attitude and incorporate those changes in your life. (And perhaps list the ways attaining that Intention might change you.) If you see a potential change that makes you uncomfortable, explore the reasons why. The possibility always exists that success will take you outside your present comfort zone.

As long as you are creating this improvement in your mind, you can control all the parts of it until it becomes something that resonates honestly, truly, beautifully with your soul. And when you reach that point, etch that vision in your head and your heart. Let the vision become your beacon. The more energy you invest in it the more brightly it guide you on your way.

Look at the world with wonder and at yourself with warmth.



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